pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
