Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
