What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
