I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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