i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
