Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
