It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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