Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
