i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
