is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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