yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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