Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
