If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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