I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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