dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
