Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
