Only a mothe r could love this liver
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
