I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize