if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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