The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
