I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
