At least make sure they are 18
Why
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
