no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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