I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
