Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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