uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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