So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
