brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
