I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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