Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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