I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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