...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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