I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
