Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
