just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
