how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
