Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
