So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
