So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
