What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
