if i can run in heels then i can drive
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
