my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
