She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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