10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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