I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
grandma shit on top of the toilet
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
