he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
