Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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