We're like a lot better than the average bears
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize