you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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