Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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