so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
