if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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