2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
