i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
