You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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