How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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