how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize