Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Found your dick twin last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize