Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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