Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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