So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
