his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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