It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Be still, my beating vagina.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
