2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i dont even know how to be here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
