So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
