Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
