Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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