i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
