I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
