His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
