She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
