I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
