i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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