I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
